The two most important words in everyone’s life are “yes” and “no”. Their right combination and use in the right situations can literally work wonders and can make you happier, healthier, and richer, as incredible as it may sound.
Often we agree simply to make a good impression or to avoid offending people by refusing.
Empathy is certainly a good thing, but in the long run, the habit of always agreeing with everyone has bad consequences.
If you have already regretted saying “yes”, here are 16 tips to help you avoid making the same mistake again. Why you should not always agree with everyone
1. You don’t have to agree to people who need your time
Time is known to be money. But there is one thing that makes minutes and hours far more valuable than all the gold in the world. If time is gone, it’s gone forever. Money can be earned again, time spent can never be recouped. Get it right, it’s not about being an insensitive piece of log and ignoring other people’s requests. When someone has an interest in your time, don’t accept it as long as it doesn’t fit your priorities. If that person’s concerns do deserve your attention, set aside a specific day to meet or talk to them, but not to the disadvantage of your own business.
2. You don’t have to agree with people who need your money.
Popular wisdom says that you should lend as much as you can afford to lose. If you aren’t prepared to let your friends rush to pay you back what they borrowed, it’s a sign that it’s time to stop doing welfare work. Debts that are not repaid on time could easily ruin your relationship with your loved ones and spoil your relationship with your friends. Honestly, it is better to refuse at once and bear all the insults than to sort out the problems later.
3. You don’t have to agree to people who exploit you
If someone brings you into their head only when they need help, you are a problem-solving tool to that person and nothing more. Relationships become unbalanced, and the role of the donor are all you? It is time to think carefully. Of course, you should help people, but this has nothing to do with those citizens who are parasitic on the generosity of others.
4. You don’t have to agree to please your friends
Saying no to your friends is not an easy thing to do. These people are dear to you, so you feel compelled to act accordingly. The truth is that a true friend will take your refusal to be absolutely normal because his friendship is much dearer than any disagreement. The same people who rebel at any of your disagreement, should not be called friends.
5. You do not have to agree if society demands it.
Public opinion can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome. People tend to think that you should just go with the flow and do what is expected of you. It takes a lot of courage and self-confidence to say no, but it is often vital.
Every time you don’t agree with something, even under pressure from the majority, you are demonstrating that you are entitled to your own opinion. If someone doesn’t like it, it still has to be respected.
6. You don’t have to agree to fit in with others
It’s the same story as the previous one. People tend to choose a way of behaving that makes them stand out from the crowd. They expect you to do the same. Oddly enough, sooner or later, everyone comes to the conclusion that conformity is not only useless but that it makes them regret what they have done.
7. You don’t have to agree to rules and conventions.
The environment imposes certain requirements on the behavior of members of a social group. Some of those rules are necessary for the smooth functioning of society but there are many dogmas that you don’t have to follow. Always remember who you are and don’t let stale doctrines change that.
8. You don’t have to agree to tradition and religious beliefs.
If you were born into a family where religion and traditional values play a major role, you too will be expected to worship them. But if deep down in your heart you’re not sure your values are true, that’s a sign you shouldn’t follow them. Of course, if you tell your family that you have your own idea of religion, your relatives will probably disapprove. That’s okay, in time the passions will subside and you can be proud of staying true to your beliefs.
9. You don’t have to agree with your parents.
Listening to your heart and disrespecting your parents are not the same thing.
Yes, mum and dad love you very much and sincerely wish you well, but sometimes only you can know what you really want.
If your parents insist, for example, that you choose a certain profession, remember: it is your life, not theirs. Act accordingly.
10. You don’t have to agree with your boss.
Be careful with this one, if you don’t want to lose your job. But on the other hand, when there are real alternatives and your current boss does nothing but ruin your life, perhaps it’s time to say goodbye to him and move on?
11. You don’t have to agree to things that put your priorities second
If you don’t respect your values, no one else will. You and you alone are responsible for what happens in your life, and this is the moment when you fully accept that responsibility. So give your goals the highest priority!
12. You don’t have to agree to anything that tries to get your attention
Today’s world is constantly bombarding us with all kinds of stimuli, so knowing how to filter out the unnecessary becomes vital. Remember: No matter what you pay attention to, you’re just as entitled to ignore it.
13. You don’t have to agree to sales and special offers
It’s hard not to lose your head during the discount season, marketers know this well.
There are plenty of psychological tricks that will make you gladly put your hard-earned cash on the altar of sales.
You may feel happy at first, but as your wallet thins and the dust settles on those essential purchases, you wonder if you should have said no after all.
14. You don’t have to agree to the mailing list
Everyone who subscribes to newsletters knows how tempting their offers can be. Sometimes they give away such wonderful things for next to nothing, how not to buy. Bingo, a new need has been imposed on you and you’ve been sold what you need to satisfy it. But if you hadn’t opened the email, would you have needed the product or service that much?
15. You don’t have to agree to chronophage
Television, the internet, and social media – these wonders of technology have radically changed our world. But if you don’t control them, they will start to control you themselves. It’s all too easy to get lost and waste a lot of time staring aimlessly at a screen. Our brains tend to choose the easiest solutions, and that’s all the time eaters are waiting for. As we found out in the first point, time is our most precious resource, so protect it as best you can.
16. You don’t have to agree to notifications
Simply turn off the alerts that come from your apps. Social media, reminders of all sorts are all distractions and make it hard to concentrate. Almost every app sends notifications, and it’s one way to engage users in active interactions. Their creators benefit from it, but it’s not good for us. Avoid unnecessary alerts and never say yes to distractions.