If you are concerned about this problem, it is worth seeing a doctor. This article tells , How To Recognise Frigidity And Still Enjoy Sex.
What is frigidity?
Frigidity is a woman’s inability to enjoy sex, a complete lack of interest in it. However, the term is slightly outdated. More precisely, it has been discredited by misuse.
For many years, this word was used colloquially to refer to “bad”, undesirable forms of female behaviour in the patriarchal world. For example, excessive coldness, indifference towards men or the constant refusal of physical intimacy to a husband or partner. And sometimes “unfemininity” – that is, a woman’s desire to wear comfortable, practical but totally unsexy clothes instead of beautiful dresses or elegant skirts.
As a result, the term has lost its scientific character. And scientists have replaced it with female sexual dysfunction. Alternative options are also used that carry the same meaning: hyposexuality, hypoactive sexual desire disorder, sexual apathy.
How to recognise frigidity?
The signs of frigidity can vary depending on which type of sexual dysfunction a woman has. These are:
- Decreased libido- This is the most common female sexual disorder. It is associated with a complete lack of interest in sex.
- Sexual arousal disorder. If a woman wants to have sex. But she has trouble getting aroused. Or it lasts for a very short time, not long enough to have an orgasm.
- Orgasmic disorder, or anorgasmia- This is when there is no problem with libido or arousal. But you can’t have an orgasm despite your best efforts.
- Sexual pain disorder- The woman experiences pain during vaginal intercourse. In some cases, she may even feel uncomfortable when her partner touches her vagina.
However, a diagnosis cannot be made based on symptoms alone.
If, on the other hand, a girl doesn’t want to have sex, but it doesn’t bother her at all (or perhaps even pleases her), she is not frigid. She is asexual.
Where does frigidity come from?
There are three main groups of causes of sexual dysfunction. Often they are related to each other, so they should be considered together.
1. Physical causes
These can be e.g. various diseases: urinary tract diseases, cardiovascular problems, neurological disorders (multiple sclerosis, spinal cord injury), some kinds of cancer and many others.
Medication such as antidepressants, antihistamines, antihistamines and chemotherapy drugs can also impair desire for sex and compromise the ability to have an orgasm.
2. Hormonal causes
Sexual dysfunction can be caused by a reduction in oestrogen, a key female hormone. Oestrogen deficiency slows down blood circulation in the pelvic organs. This reduces the sensitivity of the genitals and prevents a woman from getting aroused even after the longest and most affectionate foreplay.
In addition, oestrogen affects the vaginal mucous membrane. The mucous membrane thins and the woman’s body no longer produces the necessary amount of lubricant. The result is that intercourse is uncomfortable and the woman loses the desire to have sex.
Estrogen levels spike at different times in life: during pregnancy, while breastfeeding, and menopause.
3. Psychological and social causes
Decreased libido can be caused by:
- Prolonged stress, e.g. worries about lack of money, difficulty finding a job, anxiety about not being able to get pregnant
- Life’s monotony
- Developing depression
- Mental trauma associated with past sexual abuse.
How to treat frigidity
As we have already said, frigidity is not a medical problem and does not need treatment if a life without sex in general or without orgasms, in particular, is fine for a woman.
Sexual dysfunction only needs to be corrected if the woman is suffering. In this case, it makes sense to consult a doctor – a therapist, gynaecologist, sexologist. Any of these specialists will be able to tell you what to do. Or, if the condition that caused frigidity is not in his competence, advise where to seek help.
To begin with, the health professional will ask you about your symptoms, your lifestyle, your relationships and any medication you are taking. If frigidity is associated with pain, you may need further examination:
- Gynaecological examination- This reveals thinning of the genital tissues, scars or irritated areas.
- Blood tests. General, biochemical, and thyroid hormone tests. The results will tell your doctor about your general state of health.
If any physical or hormonal cause is found, the doctor will treat it. For example, they will suggest an alternative to the medication you are taking. Or prescribe an antibiotic to treat a urinary tract infection. Or may prescribe hormonal drugs to stabilize the level of oestrogen.
If, however, frigidity is due to a psychological condition, a health professional will recommend this:
- Communicate more with your partner. Openness and trust in a relationship are closely linked to sexual arousal.
- Increase physical activity. Among other things, physical activity improves blood flow in the pelvic organs. This increases sensitivity.
- Give up drinking alcohol.
- Learn simple ways to manage stress.
- Use more lubricant during sex.
- Start masturbating. You can do it with your hands or with a vibrator.
- See a psychotherapist. This advice is relevant if you have a history of violence-related trauma, or if you simply cannot cope with anxiety.
You may also be prescribed pills or injections that increase libido. However, these drugs have unpleasant side effects. So you should only decide if you really need them together with a qualified doctor.